A turkey in the hand is worth two in the brush... to some people...

As you may know, I am not a huge fan of dead animals. I support my husband's hunting mainly because I know it is good quality time for him to spend with the boys, and also to make him happy. I let him hunt, he's happy. I don't let him hunt, he laughs at me, and hunts anyway. So I just go with it, spend money on his debit card while he's gone, and silently pray that he doesn't actually kill anything. My prayers are not often answered in the way I would like. Not only does he kill stuff on a regular basis, now he has the kids actually being "successful".

Dallin, who is 12 and of legal hunting age in the great state of Utah, was lucky enough to get a turkey with his bow earlier this year. He was excited, so I was excited for him. Yay, that's so great! I'm so proud of you! Please, please, please don't bring it home...

Well, I guess it was a pretty good turkey, so Jason took it to his way-too-good-of-a-friend taxidermist to get stuffed. I was happy because that meant I had a few more months of animal-freeness, and then I forgot about it. Until the other day, when Jason sent me this picture from his phone. With one word: "Yes."

Yes, what? Yes, the turkey is done. Yes, it's huge. Yes, I'm bringing it home. Yes, it's wearing a seat belt.

Soooo.... that's great! It's really.... beautiful. I.... love it. I mean it looks so... real. I guess we are keeping it in the house?

Fortunately, the turkey is living in Dallin's room for the time being. I don't often go in there, but when I do I will be reminded of a happy boy and his very large accomplishment in the spring of 2015. And hope that it is his last accomplishment of the sort for quite some time.

Now, will you take a moment and review with me the thoughts that are going through Jason's mind in the above photo:

Man, this is cool.
I'm driving with a turkey.
This turkey is huge.
Everyone looking in here thinks I'm so cool because I'm driving with a huge turkey.
I need a picture of this.
This is awesome.

It's not like I can read minds or anything, but yeah, sometimes I actually can.

An Announcement and Dallin's Tenth Birthday

Well, I realize I've been missing from the blogging world for a while now. I have a good excuse. I'd like to take this opportunity to announce the impending arrival of our fifth child, and the cause of my retreat into the dark abyss of winter and anti-social behavior. I am so excited to have a new little nipper in the family, and also excited to finally be getting over the curse of morning sickness. My family is also very excited about that. Yay, mom is cooking again! Mom is moving again! It's a Christmas miracle. I promised myself this pregnancy would be better and I wouldn't let myself succumb to out-of-control hormones, but alas, I was lying to myself. What can I say, the first part of pregnancy is hard for me, but now it is over and I am ready to embrace life once again. The new little one will arrive at the end of June. We can't wait!!

It's crazy to think about a new little baby, because it seems like about ten minutes ago that my oldest, Dallin, was handed to me in the hospital. But that was ten years ago. TEN. Yesterday was Dallin's tenth birthday. I still can't believe it. He is such a great kid and he makes me proud every single day. Being a parent is tricky business, and I am far from perfect. I'm grateful to Dallin for being such a good sport as I fumble my way through day by day, using him as the guinea pig for just about everything. Being the oldest is hard work, but he does a great job of being a good example, and also being my favorite buddy. It's rewarding in a totally different way than having a newborn. I love that he gets my jokes now. I love his sense of humor. I love his passion and enthusiasm for every thing he does. He is motivated beyond belief and I rarely have to remind him to do homework. He is a great athlete and has a confidence I envy. Watching him play sports is incredibly stressful to me because I think, "If that were me out there, I would be dying under all that pressure!" But luckily he takes after his dad and has the ability to just go for it. Wow, he didn't get that from me!

The birthday boy after his Jr. Jazz game.

The kids had so much fun playing football on the turf at XSI Factory at Dallin's friend party Friday night.

Luke played with them, but tended to get a little upset when things didn't go his way.

Jason was the "coach" and I think he had more fun than the boys.

What good boys. A little wild and crazy maybe, but good kids.

Dallin begged for a Chicago Bears cake, so of course I delivered. Here I am thinking, "Dallin, you better not make lemur eyes at the camera," while Dallin makes lemur eyes at the camera. Makes me so mad!

Then he had to be a lemur for his "ten" shot, too. Ohhhh, I'm going to whip him. I didn't spend all that time figuring out how to make a Chicago Bears cake so he can look psychotic for posterity.

Here we are, all looking a little psychotic in one way or another. Dallin is being decidedly anti-lemurish so we're just going to have to go for it. Another great birthday, another year gone by. I'm so grateful for this little family. I couldn't ask for anything more. Maybe a nap once in a while, but that's it. That's the only improvement I can think of right now.

Dallin's Perfect Day

 Kids are simple creatures. You can plan and save and make huge sacrifices so they will have fun and make memories, and all they do is complain. Then you have a normal, hectic Saturday going from one thing to another, and you feel like you are about to go crazy, yet at the end of the day, your nine-year-old tells you it was the best day he's ever had. That's what happened yesterday. 

It started out with the boys' last flag football games of the season. Luke's game was first. His siblings were supportive, though slightly unenthusiastic.

Luke's friend Cooper's dad was the coach this year. They had such a fun year. Luke is a bit of a giant compared to the other boys, but that's okay. One of these years his effort is going to match his size and he is going to dominate, I'm sure of it. This year he tried hard... on games when he knew he would get $$ for each flag he pulled. The other games were a little more... relaxed.

Here he is kicking off. Just pretend the ball is way up there.

Don't get me wrong, I love to watch my kids play sports. The problem is, I don't get to watch very much. I end up chasing the devil himself around for a few hours.

Don't let his innocent appearance deceive you. He never holds this still. 

He likes to follow around every animal within a five mile radius.

And we also spend a lot of time dragging him off the playing field. Sigh. Good times.

Then it was on to Dallin's game.

He had a great game and loved every second. He requested that I call this play, "The Touchdown Throw" because he threw this for a touchdown. So here's The Touchdown Throw. Pretty proud of that old boy.

Jason was hunting during the games, so that afternoon he decided to take the kids fishing to make it up to them. Boy, did that ever work. If there's anything Dallin loves as much as sports, it's fishing. Here is Dallin displaying a beautiful little blue gill. They were pulling them in on almost every cast.

Jason let each kid reel in numerous fish. Numerous times. They were in heaven.

Luke found a bird.

Unfortunately, it was deceased at the time. If you know anything about Luke's soft heart, and his love for birds, you can imagine his sorrow. He spent a lot of time trying to dig a little grave for it in the rock hard ground.

Isn't this a pretty spot?

You'd never know we were about 10 yards from a highway. It's a private place, but don't worry, we had permission. Jason knows a guy. A guy whose dad is rumored to own it. Jason swears the guy's dad won't prosecute.

Because I mean, I'm sure we were welcome there. Those keep out messages were just meant for other people. Other people who don't know the son of the guy who probably owns the place.

Jake had to be dragged out, but at least he had a smile on his face. Note to self: Jason's thumb is in a can of worms. Then he drove using keys that touched that thumb. Now those keys are sitting on my kitchen counter, about three feet away from me right this second. I will be disinfecting right after we are through here.

Well, that was a pretty exhausting day, for me anyway. Jason took us out to dinner, and we let Dallin choose the place.

He decided to channel his inner senior citizen and we ended up at Sizzler. Don't get me wrong, Sizzler is great. Just not on a Saturday night when every Mormon in Utah County has the same family-friendly idea. I was sitting at the table, shoveling food in five different directions, when Dallin turned to me and said, "Mom, this was the best day ever. Fishing, football and Sizzler." Then he gave me one of those smiles that let me know that despite everything else, it was all worth it. Non-washed fish hands and all.

"I let my 6 year old be lowered into a bear den by someone I met on the Internet."

Now how many people can say that? I know of exactly one - my husband. Incidentally, there was a bear IN the den at the time. A mad bear, cornered by seven hound dogs. What a fun thing for a little boy to see. Let's lower him by his feet and hang him upside down five feet from a mad bear! Here, random friend I met on MonsterMuleys.com, you take one leg, I'll take the other...

That wasn't the only confession Jason made after returning from his bear hunt in southern Utah this weekend.

"I also put the boys out on several ledges that were very dangerous."

Maybe some things that you might not want to share with your wife if you ever want to spend unsupervised time with your children. Ever. Again.

Just a thought.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad Jason wants to spend time with the boys and take them hunting. I just sleep a lot better once they are home and safe. And I kind of wish they would keep all the details to themselves. Sheesh!

Dallin Gets His Woof/The Family Bat Who Wasn't Really a Bat

I hate to admit it, but I've never been too excited about Scouts. When Dallin turned eight I think it was the thing I dreaded most. It was fun to go down to the Scout office and get his little outfit and book, but I don't think he or I touched it for months. He went to activities and we all went to Pack Meeting (occasionally), but my heart just wasn't in it. Man that year went fast! Suddenly, it was almost time for him to graduate to Bears and he wasn't even close to being an official Wolf (or "Woof" as his Scout leader called it, and I am 100% not joking about that). So we busted our little behinds and got his dang Woof requirements completed right before his birthday. Maybe a few days after. Anyway, he was due to get his award, but because of a vacation and the Blue & Gold banquet, he was finally going to get it during the March episode of Pack Meeting.

Enter one of the biggest moral dilemmas of my mothering career. Pack Meeting is normally on a Tuesday. Or a Wednesday. I can never really remember which one, it is just definitely never on a Thursday. Especially not Thursday, March 22, the opening night of Hunger Games, for which my friends and I have had tickets for months and planned an epic Girls' Night Out. I realized the conflict the night before, and it was a huge conflict in my heart as well. Dallin was looking so forward to getting his award. I was looking so forward to my GNO. Dallin could get his award in April. I could see the Hunger Games later, by myself, lonely, cold and afraid. But my son... my little son must be my priority. So I forfeited my ticket and went to Pack Meeting. I was weeping in my heart on the way over, when Dallin said, "Mom, I woke up this morning and thought this was going to be a bad day. But then I remembered I was getting my award tonight, and I knew it would be a good day." So, that made it all worth it right there. That, and the joyful fellow who is peeking over my shoulder in the pictures. Seriously, how can Scouts not be fun with leaders like that?  

See him back there?

He's still there!

Ah, my little Woof. Maybe we will get started on the Bear now so we can choose a night to get the award that does not correspond with the opening of a major must-see teenage movie. Sheesh.

Now on to the Family Bat. If you know me very well, you know I love bats. It all started in the second grade when I found a bat hanging under the window of my second grade class. My teacher captured the bat in a jar and turned it into the Class Pet. I was kind of a nobody back then, if you can imagine that (ha), and I was suddenly catapulted to second grade stardom, all thanks to a furry little flying creature. For this I have always been grateful to bats and felt somewhat indebted to them.

Not to make this the Longest Post Ever or anything, but I decided years ago that if I was ever faced with the decision of which animal to be, I would definitely be a bat. Specifically, a fruit bat. Think of the benefits. A mammal, who can fly. They mate for life. Care for their young. Eat fruit, for crying out loud. How great would that life be? Okay, so it's basically my life right now, except for the flying part, but I really think being able to fly would enhance my life in so many ways. Anyway.

You can imagine my joy last week when Jason and Luke reported that we had a bat living under our deck! Our very own bat, or Family Bat, as it came to be known. They had seen the Family Bat a few times when they suddenly turned on the light and opened the door. I didn't really believe it because it was just too good to be true, but then one night I snuck down with Luke and flung the door open and turned on the light and there he was! The Family Bat! Flapping around, darting this way and that, a definite bat of our own!

I tried to get a few pictures, but he was too fast, or maybe I was too slow. It didn't matter. We all knew the Family Bat was there.

Until tonight. Luke and I performed our nightly ritual of sneaking down to see the Family Bat, me with camera in hand and hope in my heart. Except something was amiss. We flung open the door, but instead of flying, he was sitting (hey... bats don't sit! they hang...). And he didn't move. He let me capture the following shot on my camera, before taking off and floating and flitting this way and that, just like a bat. The bat that he was not.

I mean, if I wanted a Family Bird I would go buy one! You can't buy bats. They are not for sale, or believe me, I would be raising a little batch of them right now. Bats are meant to be free, living under porches and making people's dreams come true. Not just sitting there and impersonating more worthy and inspiring creatures. So it is with a heavy heart that I admit I don't really have a Family Bat, even though he will always live on in my soul.

Dallin is 9!

Dallin's birthday is always an emotional day for me. I think because he is my oldest and firstborn in the wilderness, it is kind of like my birthday, too. It is the birth of my becoming a mother. I celebrated by buying some purple jeggings for myself at Our Little Store.  It made me feel a little better about my baby turning nine! You can't feel depressed in purple jeggings. The day Dallin was born was truly the most significant day of my life. Not that my other kids' births haven't been significant, but when your first child is born, your life changes forever. Suddenly, it's focused on someone else, and will be forever. Now there are several someone elses, and each one has brought change to our family, but the first one paved the way, nine wonderful Groundhog Days ago. 

Dallin's birthday this year was so fun. He had three parties. Lucky little sucker.

Dallin is obsessed with football this year, so I made him a football cake for his family party with  my in-laws. It is one of the few successful cakes I have ever made. It actually looked like a football! Not that difficult, I realize, but I have issues with making cakes.

Party #1. Opening presents with the Yates cousins.

Blowing out the candles!! If you have more than one birthday cake, do you get more than one wish? This is bothering me. And don't mind the lion behind me. He is actually quite tame.

Dallin requested pancakes for his birthday breakfast. I'm a bad mom and usually just give them cereal before school, so this was a special occasion. I can't believe I have four kids that sit up to the bar! I feel like an official mother now.

Dallin's class singing Happy Birthday to him. Abby, Jake and I brought little ice creams in to Dallin's class for his birthday treat.  

The football party! The kids look wild, but they were actually really well-behaved. I was very relieved because Jason was supposed to do the party but ended up having to work. He organized everything, though, and came up with some great games that the kids loved.

The first was kicking practice. Jason built a goal post out of PVC pipe and the kids took turns kicking field goals.

Next was tackling practice. Jason rigged up a football dummy that the kids got to tackle and land on a mattress. They thought that was the greatest thing ever invented. I was just glad that Jason stuffed the bag with his pile of dirty hunting clothes so I don't have to move them every time I vacuum. Dirty hunting clothes and I do not get along.

This game was a huge hit once I figured out how to attach the velcro so the dummy would come loose when they jumped on it. Where does Jason come up with these things?

The next game was throwing practice. Jason drew a football player on a box and cut out a hole for the kids to throw the ball in. In addition to being an expert party-planner, Jason is also an artist. 

Abby wanted to get in on the action and have black under her eyes, too.

I was still recovering from making the football cake, so I was very grateful to Costco for making a Super Bowl cake that said Happy Birthday on it. It was eerie.  I didn't even have to ask! I hope there is Costco in heaven. I'm pretty sure there is.

After all the friends went home, the Price cousins came over! Dallin opened his presents and was thrilled with everything. He's getting so old! He wanted money this year so he can buy some things he's been saving up for.

Dallin's main present! He LOVES country music and went to the Brad Paisley concert with Jason last week (hey, wait a  minute, that was supposed to be his main present!). He has been begging for a guitar for a while, so I finally broke down and got him one. Now I just have to teach him how to play it!

Our traditional family birthday picture. Each birthday brings a few more changes. The kids are a little bit  different, we are all a little bit older, and hopefully a little bit wiser, too. I love watching my family grow and change. I used to dread having my kids grow up, but in a lot of ways I feel like we are just getting to the fun part. I love seeing the people these kids are turning into, one birthday at a time!

Little boy, big heart

Oh, my little Dallin. The other day Jason got a little upset with the boys because they got into his gummy Valentine hearts and took them upstairs and ate them all. Jason wasn't too mad, but I think the boys felt bad. They know their dad loves those "squishy hearts". Jason left me with instructions to buy a bag "so big I could barely carry it" the next time I went to Kohler's (the hearts are in the bulk Sweets candy section). But before I could do that, Dallin found a few more hearts that had been overlooked, probably because they were under a chair or something. He was SO proud and put them in a little sandwich bag for his dad. Well, in the meantime, Luke happened across them and you can guess what he did. Dallin caught him in the act, and somehow managed to fish one out of Luke's mouth, almost perfectly intact. He then climbed up on a chair and washed the gummy off in the sink and put it back in the bag for Dad. Then he wanted me to call Jason and tell him about the present that was waiting for him when he got home. Here is a picture of Dallin with his little prize. I don't know why Jason hasn't eaten it yet, he loves those hearts so much...